Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize