My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize