OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
