your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
