Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
