Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize