I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize