god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
