i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize