I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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