I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
