shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
