what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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