normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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