You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
