Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
