don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
