We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
