Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
