Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My ATM looks so different sober.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
