halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
