just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
