It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
