today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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