Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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