(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
