if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
