I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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