Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
