And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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