I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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