i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
