i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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