he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
