me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
