Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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