she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
