Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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