May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize