I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
