I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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