Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
