I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
