He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
