WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
