I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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