BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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