Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
be right there i have to get my cape
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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