i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
