you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
