So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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