Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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