any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
