I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
