I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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