It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
