yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
