My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
