i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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