first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
