In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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