i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
