No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
