You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
