Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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